Learning to Ride With Life's Twists and Turns

    "Life is not always perfect.  Like a road, it has many bends, ups, and downs, but that's its beauty." 

    -Amit Ray

Lassen Volcanic National Park

 

    Life is full of surprises.  Some welcome, others not so much, but it's these unexpected side roads that life leads you down that seem to shape us the most.  The things we aren't ready for push us out of our comfort zone and require us to react and adapt in ways we haven't prepared for.  They highlight our areas of strength and weakness.  We have to think on our feet, be in the moment, and hope we make good decisions as we navigate through these uncharted areas presented to us. 

    At 44 years young, I am no stranger to life's little surprises.  As a single mother of two, I can say for sure that life didn't go exactly as planned.  There is no white picket fence, no husband, there isn't even a dishwasher.  As it turned out, I was pretty content this way.  A surprise side road I ended up continuing down and enjoying, even with it's struggles.  After many years of being single, another unexpected road appeared.  I fell in love with a long time friend and amazing human.  I continually wonder how I got so lucky to have his attention and admiration.  This has been the most fun surprise road I have wandered down to date. This turn has presented a road with so many branches to so many areas of myself that I never would have explored.  His favorite method of travel was light and on two wheels.  I never had the desire to ride motorcycles.  I favored four wheels and had the cage mentality that it was an unsafe method of transportation.  Being that he was a very experienced rider, I had great trust in him.  Being the adventurous and curious person I am, I reluctantly, but willingly swung my leg over the back of his bike one day, wrapped my arms tightly around him, and let him whisk me off down the road and into my future.

My kiddos and I in Big Sur

A little cruise on the back of his bike around a bit of the Grand Canyon before I learned to ride myself.

    I don't know when it happened.  When my mind changed, when I stepped out of my cage and decided I needed to learn to ride.  I wanted to hold the handlebars and feel the wind head on.  Before I knew it, there I was at 42, sitting on a rental BMW 310, picking my feet up on the pegs, and turning the throttle on my own for the first time.  I started on a quiet little street.  Back and forth, back and forth. Another rental and a permit in hand, I ventured into traffic.  Still pretty sure I signed my death certificate and was going to leave my children motherless, I enrolled in a MSF class at Bartels Harley Davidson to get more coaching.  I had two amazing teachers, got some quality riding instruction, and walked away with my M1 license.  Feeling confident as I entered this world of motorcycling, I did what any normal over 40 mother of two with less than 10 miles of real riding experience and no bike of her own would do and signed myself up for a track day at Buttonwillow Raceway.  I bought a used leather suit off a small man, some tall riding boots, rented a Yamaha R3, and headed to the racetrack. 

My first time on two wheels.

April 2019

Graduation day from my MSF class.  Ready to ride!

July 2019

   

     On the track I was slow, very slow.  And scared, very scared.  Life presented me with another amazing teacher from the TrackDaz crew, who was patient, kind, and took the time to teach me the lines and how to ride safely on the track.  How this day didn't overwhelm and terrify me and have me running from the track swearing never to go back, I'll never know.  Instead, I was exhilarated.  I wanted more.  I was on Craigslist bike shopping before we even left the track.  A theme that would repeat itself again and again in future.  They say be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.  My soul was all aglow that day.  Riding ignited a blaze within me and I wanted to continue to stoke the flames.

First time on the track at Buttonwillow Raceway with Stephen Ludwig kindly and patiently showing me the lines.  I look so locked up and scared in this picture.  
August 2019

    As a single mother of two, the idea of me racing around a track at top speed, commuting on the freeway, or cruising down steep and narrow canyon roads has not been met with much support or optimism from everyone.  

"It's dangerous.  You'll be hit by a car.  You'll fly off a cliff.  You'll crash and die."

"What if you get hurt?  What about your children?  Aren't you too old for this?"

    So much fear and and negativity.  It's hard not to let that filter into your head.  It's that fear that I'm trying to get away from.  I was literally trying to ride through it.  Obviously, I'm afraid of these things and wish to avoid them. I do understand my obligations at home and I want to return there safe and unharmed.  I also need to be strong, healthy, have a clear mind, and be allowed to pursue my passions.  I want to be an example to my children that you can do hard things, you can improve, you can overcome your fears, achieve things you thought you'd never be capable of, and find calm and peace in a chaotic world doing something you love.  I don't feel this is negligent or foolish.  I feel this is perseverance. 

    You see, I know fear.  I know fear all too well.  Life gave me another surprise 14 years ago.  At 5 months pregnant I learned my daughter would be born with a Congenital Heart Defect and would need open heart surgery at birth and throughout her life to survive.  She also had a tethered spinal cord that required surgery to release, and at one point there was fear that she had an encephalocele that would require brain surgery, which thankfully she did not have.  She has survived two open heart surgeries (she will need another one soon),  spinal surgery, two heart catheterizations, and later in life was diagnosed with high functioning Autism, ADHD, and anxiety.  Fear found a home in my mind for a long, long time.  It still comes to visit on occasion, but I know what it can do to your soul and spirit if left to fester and brew unmanaged.  I know there are things we cannot change and things that are far beyond our control.  I know now that fear is not one of them.  She is a constant reminder to not waste this precious life worrying over things I cannot control.  Not to spend life needlessly bound by fear and abandoning the glory found on the other side.  We can choose to live in fear or we can choose to face it head on.  Fear is necessary, but it does not have to be all encompassing.  As Nelson Mandela so eloquently stated, "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."  I think riders are a lot like warriors.  We suit up, dress ourselves in armor before we mount our steeds and head into battle.  The warrior knows he will face danger and potentially death or injury, but he rides despite this fear.  He rides right into it in hopes to emerge through to the other side successful, towards the horizon of freedom. Of course, I could just feel this dramatically about it because I have to survive riding in L.A. traffic.

Post second open heart surgery.  Pretty sure you can see the fear in my eyes.

She is a warrior and an inspiration to me.
  

        

    A year and a half, four motorcycles, a dozen track days, and over 10,000 miles later I'm committed to this side road that once was foreign and daunting.  It has become a place of freedom, of peace, and connectedness.  I've had to overcome many doubts, face my fears, find courage and mental strength.  I continue to have a driving desire to be a solid, safe, and smooth rider, not just on the road or racetrack, but in my life, as well.  There are so many lessons in riding that can be translated to life.  Steady roll on the throttle, loose on the handlebars, ease on the brakes, look far ahead.  Just as in life we shouldn't rush in, don't try to force things, think before you act, and look at the bigger picture.  I believe it's this connection to life that attracts me to this sport.  

Recent track day at Spring Mountain Raceway.  I have made a lot of improvement in a year and a have, but I still have so much improvement to make and skills to learn.
October 2020

   

    As a surfer, I can draw many similarities between these activities.  Both are solo sports that completely connect you to the elements and you must learn to stay in tune, read the waves or the road, and go with the flow in order to be successful in riding them.  It creates harmony between your mind, your body and the elements around you.  Eventually, you don't have to think, you just feel and react naturally and smoothly.  You enter the zone.  It's not an escape from reality, but a connection to things beyond what we can see.  A healthy way to both run away and reconnect.  The perfect training ground for your mind and your will to grow stronger in knowing you can maneuver through whatever roadblocks or detours life throws your way and you can learn to navigate them with confidence.  It forces you to be honest with your limits and know when to say when.  To know some roads and some conditions are unsafe to ride through.  You learn when to turn around and find another way, when to rest, when to seek shelter, when to slow down and take time to appreciate the view.  You may break down or need to take a break and stay in one place longer than you anticipated.  And sometimes you just have to move on.  When traveling on two wheels riders have to be adaptable, plans and schedules have to be malleable.  As every rider will tell you, it is more about the journey than the destination, so you may as well enjoy the ride.

Taking a moment to just take it all in.  Maupin, Oregon with Mount Hood on the horizon.

Slowing down for the sunset in Jenner, California.

Looks beautiful, doesn't it?  It was a place of nightmares.  I almost met my death here at the aptly named "Hurricane Alley" along the coast in Big Sur.  It felt like my bike was going to set sail when 50+ mph wind gusts came bursting at me as I came around the mountain.  I pulled over and refused to move.  It was terrifying.  In this case fear probably saved me from a most certain disaster.  
(btw, Ninja 400's SUCK in the wind!)

No chance taking our planned route down PCH South this day.  The Dolan fire had burned up the itinerary.  We sheltered in place at our campground until we came up with a new plan.

    Maybe I am crazy to find this sport so late in life.  Maybe I am too old to be racing around a track or riding thousands of miles on nothing but two wheels and camping in the middle of nowhere.  I don't expect people to understand.  I don't need everyone to be a cheerleader for me and my adventure.  I do, however, hope that I can be an inspiration to others.  To anyone who wants to try riding, but has been too afraid to swing their leg over the bike for the first time.  Most especially to others like me, the middle aged mom who has given everything to her family and needs a slice of freedom and adventure.  A surprise side road paved and waiting to lead her into her future.  I started this blog for her and for me.  I never could have imagined 20 years ago that I would be on this two wheel journey today.  Now I look 20 years into the future and all I can see is a silver haired women, with a big grin you can feel through her helmet, riding off into the horizon with a destination unknown.  The future looks fun.  I'm excited for more miles, more smiles, more lessons, and more adventures.

I hope to continue to share as many riding experiences as I can here with you. Thank you for joining me on my crazy, two wheeled adventures!💓